Not able to have a birth child?
Discovering there is no chance of conceiving you own children – for what ever reason – is for many an enormous blow. The realisation is likely to evoke a huge range of emotions. Among them may be a sense that it is ‘just not fair!’.
You may feel that you have all the qualities to make an excellent parent – and the majority of people will make excellent parents given the chance.
Over the years many people have found adoption to be an alternative way to have a family. Adoption may have been suggested to you by your GP, Consultant, family or friends.
Before embarking on the adoption process it is important for you to have finished any fertility treatment and that you have been able to come to terms with the fact you will not be able to have a birth child. Having reached this stage you will be able to move on positively to think about adoption as an alternative choice rather than a second best option.
Adoption has never been the same as having a birth child and it never completely extinguishes the pain surrounding infertility. However it can offer huge fulfilment to many adoptive parents.
As an adoption agency we are essentially a home finding service for children in the care of the Local Authority and the children we have to place may not necessarily match the ideal child you wish to adopt. Few babies are given up at birth these days but there are children of all ages who come into care and who are unable to return to their birth families. Many of these children will need adoptive parents like you. All will have endured the stress of being moved and some children will have experienced multiple moves between the birth family and foster carers before finally being placed with adoptive parents.
Many of the children come from chaotic family backgrounds including, neglect, domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse etc. These early experiences we know from our own experience and from research evidence may have an impact so profound that just providing a loving home isn’t enough. Children who have been through adversity in early life need more than just a new parent they need adopters who are willing to commit and to invest in them and to be there for them in the long term.
In order to promote their emotional health most children need to keep some sort of limited contact indirect/direct with their birth family. There is also a need to keep siblings placed together if at all possible.
Adoption involves risks in many respects and no one can promise outcomes. However, we know that children without secure adoptive homes usually do very badly so we trust you will feel rewarded by the knowledge that you will be giving a child who has had a bad start in life a real chance of being part of a loving family.
